I read Love, Loss, and What We Ate by Padma Lakshmi* on New
Year’s Day, between cooking, baking, watching movies, and playing board games.
After an event-filled holiday season – often with multiple parties per day – we
were grateful to just stay home and relax with no agenda or obligations.
You might know Lakshmi as a co-host of Top Chef or because she was married to controversial author Salman Rushdie for a spell. That was about the extent of my knowledge about her. It was refreshing to discover that she’s not just a pretty face…and she does actually cook and eat!
You might know Lakshmi as a co-host of Top Chef or because she was married to controversial author Salman Rushdie for a spell. That was about the extent of my knowledge about her. It was refreshing to discover that she’s not just a pretty face…and she does actually cook and eat!
On the Page
Between the dedication sheets and the start of chapter one,
there’s an otherwise blank page with the words: “The heart knows no pain
sharper than love’s arrow.” That is a hint of what is to come. Over the next
three hundred plus pages, we follow Lakshmi’s story. It’s one that is filled
with intense loves, poignant losses, and a lot of food in between.
I’ll admit, though: I was simultaneously riveted and
repulsed. Her prose is captivating and evocative while some of her choices left
me wanting to reach into the book, pull her out by her hair, and smack her.
Seriously.
Even after knowing she shouldn’t be with Rushdie, she showed
a stunning lack of restraint on their first date . “At 3:00 a.m., I woke with a
start. I’m naked in a married man’s bed. I got dressed and skulked out of the
Mark, feeling like a hussy. Once home, I showered, attempting to scrub away my
shame. There were so many reasons we shouldn’t be together. He was married, for
one, with a young son. He lived in London. The ominous cloud of the fatwa hung
over his heard. He was twenty-three years my senior, old enough to be my
father. I consoled myself by resolving that there was only one decision to
make; the next step was too obvious to doubt. We would stop speaking. I would
go back to my life and he to his. But he kept calling. And I kept answering. I
could not resist him” (pg. 8).
She details her painful experience with endometriosis and
her work in creating awareness and a foundation to support women afflicted with
that is admirable. I, of course, had heard the term, but had no idea of its
implications. “A healthy female body, Seckin explained, expels uterine lining
during menstruation. Not so in the case of a woman who has endometriosis.
Instead, the tissue pools in the body’s reproductive cul-de-sac. The body then
reabsorbs the lining, which grows. But the lining is no mere plasma or scar
tissue; it has glands and responds to hormones – forming layer upon layer in
the uterus, a new one each month that spills out into the peritoneum or lower
abdomen. It can pool outside the uterus and attach itself to all the internal
organs of a woman with the condition, preventing normal functioning of those
organs. It can choke her reproductive system, as weeds in a healthy garden can
take down the tallest of shrubs” (pg. 32).
Her description of thayir sadam, a porridge of salted
yogurt, had my mouth watering. “Every housewife had her own special concoction
that she mixed into yogurt rice. My mom fried freshly minced garlic and green
chilies; my aunt added fresh pomegranate seeds and chopped cilantro; and others
served it plain with just a spoonful of fiery Indian pickles made from green
mango, sorrel, or lime. Few versions were anything but comforting and
delightful, though my grandmother had the magic touch. With the contents of her
iron ladle – mustards seeds and the like, plus perhaps crunchy fried lentils or
even pieces of lotus root cured with spices, dried in the sun, …she would turn
rice and yogurt into a meal…” (pg. 83).
She draws comparisons between her homeland and new
experiences. “[Aunt Bhanu] deftly formed what seemed like hundreds of potato
patties before breading and frying them in a shallow pool of oil. When I had my
first McDonald’s hash brown, I thought to myself, This is a very poor aloo
tikki” (pg. 89). She adopts a white-washed name through high school, calling
herself Angie, first, then Angelique. Her life as a model in Europe was an
interesting period. But, eventually, you see her grow comfortable in her own
skin.
Of course, there’s lots of food mentioned and, as for most
of us, food ties into memories and healing. Upon getting her own place after
her divorce and having a kitchen in which to cook, she writes, “…I was so giddy
about being able to cook in my own kitchen again. …I thoroughly savored going
to Kalustyan’s, my old standby gourmet ethnic store, and buying all my pantry
ingredients. I lingered lovingly in their spice aisles like a bookworm in the
stacks of an old library. I filled my basket with ras el hanout, baharat, urfa
chili and sumac, green mango powder and zaatar, bottles of obscure hot sauces,
yuzu and rose jam” (pg. 208). “I made the staple chutneys and condiments I used
regularly, like thick, pasty cranberry chutney with cayenne and fenugreek. I
boiled carcasses in a heap of vegetables and aromatics for stock I could
freeze. I spent whole weekends in the dead of winter filling tall canisters
with lentils and pulses of every color. I bought black rice, red rice, brown
rice, and of course basmati rice by the heavy jute sackful. I replenished my
cupboards with all those rare and funky things I had discovered over my years
of travel: dried black Omani limes and Szechwan peppercorns, kokum fruit skins
and tins of glittering pieces of orange glacé” (pp. 209-210).
So, if you can reserve judgment on some of the choices Lakshmi makes – or better yet – forgive her lack of belief in her own agency, this is a compelling
immigrant story.
On the Plate
There are a few recipes sprinkled throughout the book,
including Applesauce for Teddy, Krishna’s Pickled Peppers, Kichidi (a simple
white rice and mung lentil porridge), Egg in a Hole, Chili Cheese Toast, and
more. But it was her Chaatpati Chutney that I was compelled to try. She shares,
“Our best sauce to come of all those years of trial and error was our chaatpati
tamarind-date chutney. This dark and gooey sludge became my first mother sauce
of sorts, because it instantly woke up any bland or boring ingredient and made
it finger-sucking good” (pg. 94).
Ingredients makes 1 ½ cups
very slightly adapted from Lakshmi's book
- 4 C water
- ¼ C tamarind concentrate
- 2 t ground cumin
- 2 t ground coriander
- 1 t paprika (this is my addition)
- 1 to 2 t cayenne, to taste
- 1 to 2 T vinegar (this is not in the original recipe, I used apple cider vinegar)
- 20 dates, pitted and chopped
- 2 t salt (I used a birch-smoked salt)
Procedure
In a saucepan, bring water to a boil. Stir in the remaining
ingredients and bring to a boil over medium heat. Stir constantly with a wooden
spoon and mash the dates as you go to create a thick pulp. The finished chutney
will look like a loose jam or barbeque sauce.
I haven't decided on what to use this. I'm thinking as a salsa for baked naan or maybe smothered over a warmed brie. I'll keep you posted.
I haven't decided on what to use this. I'm thinking as a salsa for baked naan or maybe smothered over a warmed brie. I'll keep you posted.
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I really enjoyed this book too.
ReplyDeleteI read this several years ago, but remember having a similar reaction about some of her choices. Evocative writer though.
ReplyDeleteI think I might enjoy this memoir. I know I would enjoy this chutney.
ReplyDelete